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Submitted on
March 31, 2011
File Size
1.7 KB


260 (who?)

the chimney smoke

      blows like hair

           like love

        like you

in the wind

      its ashen hum

rising through

      the clouds

     my reverend

     heart beats

  a trembling dove

a man without

  love pinned

  to a crux of spine

     dear burden of mine

o father have i sinned

    what fire turned

this bread to stone

    what sent

          my voice

       to roam

without my ribs

    that gnash

      like children

weeping in the gloam

my chest is pried

   a tongueless jaw

with nothing left

   to steal

      or say after

    those words

   how much


   i feel

so =zebrazebrazebra asked me to try this exercise for transliteration's musical maps contest, and i'm sharing the process since it's all new to me.

it’s based on a piece called “in the air” from tim hecker’s ravedeath, 1972. some might call it drone music, postmodern accessory, dense hipster shit, et cetera. i figured i’d stab my ears out if i chose pop songs about alien sex (yes, phone home is now a euphemism for sexting).


my initial candidates included brian eno and ben frost, but i ended up going with a textural midpoint between the two. i divvied my paper into bars and followed instructions. the scribbles didn’t make immediate sense, but hey, poetry’s about recontextualization. so i lumped the hazy ambience of the song with the visualization resembling a column of smoke, you-reek-uh.

i progressed in a stream-of-consciousness way in relation to the music map, and was left with the key image of a lost heart as martyr/dove/tongue lolling in ash. i tweaked the religious imagery to reflect drone music's spiritual roots and the album's pipe organ rafters; and fiddled with the smoke/consumed heart imagery evoked by the lonely/ascetic/anguished reverb. things came together in the song’s nebulous likeness once i cut the outliers and edited the heavier diction.

at this point, i did more research on the album's production. after laying down the track structure organically, tim hecker started doing a lot of digital editing, adding effects and whatnot. in emulation, i collapsed my analog “voice” on paper into quanta of rhyme by keyboard, then i removed punctuation and capitalization, introducing a certain ambience.

a few edits later, i had the product of an interesting creative process.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-07-11
no dear by ~jonzoiplu ( Suggested by Vigilo and Featured by Beccalicious )
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by =DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: dailylitdeviations.deviantart.… Congratulations on your DD!

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
Vigilo Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Student Writer
Hi - this is just to say, I used the title of your amazing piece in a poem of mine, for #TheTitlePage's contest, over here! If you'd prefer for me not to use it, please let me know, and I'll change it immediately. Thank you! :heart:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This stole my breath! The flow... the words... the concept... you executed it in such a way, I felt speechless upon reaching the end. Then I read the complicated way in which you wrote this? You, sir, are a god :salute:
Ha, no really! If I ever tried to follow that process... I may get a few good lines, but there is no way I could produce such a connection between everything. You introduced a silk flow, too, that made it so easy to just keep reading; I was almost disappointed when I ran out of page!
Fantastic job! I think I really love this because of the creativity behind it. It was a pleasure read, and I thank you for sharing. I'm even more happy with the fact this does indeed possess a DD (: :love:
jonzoiplu Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013
:batman: :absolut:
HippieHebe Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
brilliant idea and lovely words
jonzoiplu Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012   General Artist
So beautiful and rightfully deserving of the DD! :clap:
Congratulations on being so amazing:heart:
jonzoiplu Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012
haha, thanks.
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012   General Artist
My pleasure! :la:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2012   Writer
it's like a vortex, whipping up potent and striking thoughts
sigh, this is beautiful
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