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Submitted on
March 31, 2011
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the chimney smoke

      blows like hair

           like love

        like you

in the wind

      its ashen hum

rising through

      the clouds

     my reverend


     heart beats

  a trembling dove

a man without

  love pinned

  to a crux of spine

     dear burden of mine

o father have i sinned


    what fire turned

this bread to stone

    what sent

          my voice

       to roam

without my ribs

    that gnash

      like children

weeping in the gloam


my chest is pried

   a tongueless jaw

with nothing left

   to steal

      or say after

    those words

   how much

      lonelier

   i feel




.
so =zebrazebrazebra asked me to try this exercise for transliteration's musical maps contest, and i'm sharing the process since it's all new to me.

it’s based on a piece called “in the air” from tim hecker’s ravedeath, 1972. some might call it drone music, postmodern accessory, dense hipster shit, et cetera. i figured i’d stab my ears out if i chose pop songs about alien sex (yes, phone home is now a euphemism for sexting).

BACK ON TRACK.

my initial candidates included brian eno and ben frost, but i ended up going with a textural midpoint between the two. i divvied my paper into bars and followed instructions. the scribbles didn’t make immediate sense, but hey, poetry’s about recontextualization. so i lumped the hazy ambience of the song with the visualization resembling a column of smoke, you-reek-uh.

i progressed in a stream-of-consciousness way in relation to the music map, and was left with the key image of a lost heart as martyr/dove/tongue lolling in ash. i tweaked the religious imagery to reflect drone music's spiritual roots and the album's pipe organ rafters; and fiddled with the smoke/consumed heart imagery evoked by the lonely/ascetic/anguished reverb. things came together in the song’s nebulous likeness once i cut the outliers and edited the heavier diction.

at this point, i did more research on the album's production. after laying down the track structure organically, tim hecker started doing a lot of digital editing, adding effects and whatnot. in emulation, i collapsed my analog “voice” on paper into quanta of rhyme by keyboard, then i removed punctuation and capitalization, introducing a certain ambience.

a few edits later, i had the product of an interesting creative process.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-07-11
no dear by ~jonzoiplu ( Suggested by Vigilo and Featured by Beccalicious )
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by =DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: dailylitdeviations.deviantart.… Congratulations on your DD!

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Student Writer
Hi - this is just to say, I used the title of your amazing piece in a poem of mine, for #TheTitlePage's contest, over here! If you'd prefer for me not to use it, please let me know, and I'll change it immediately. Thank you! :heart:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This stole my breath! The flow... the words... the concept... you executed it in such a way, I felt speechless upon reaching the end. Then I read the complicated way in which you wrote this? You, sir, are a god :salute:
Ha, no really! If I ever tried to follow that process... I may get a few good lines, but there is no way I could produce such a connection between everything. You introduced a silk flow, too, that made it so easy to just keep reading; I was almost disappointed when I ran out of page!
Fantastic job! I think I really love this because of the creativity behind it. It was a pleasure read, and I thank you for sharing. I'm even more happy with the fact this does indeed possess a DD (: :love:
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:iconjonzoiplu:
jonzoiplu Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013
:batman: :absolut:
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:iconhippiehebe:
HippieHebe Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
brilliant idea and lovely words
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:iconjonzoiplu:
jonzoiplu Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
:absolut::absolut:
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012   General Artist
So beautiful and rightfully deserving of the DD! :clap:
Congratulations on being so amazing:heart:
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:iconjonzoiplu:
jonzoiplu Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012
haha, thanks.
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012   General Artist
My pleasure! :la:
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:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2012   Writer
it's like a vortex, whipping up potent and striking thoughts
sigh, this is beautiful
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