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empty by *jonzoiplu:iconjonzoiplu:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Cheap or Tawdry Romance > Open




.



when you left me, there was
a hot hollow in my chest and I tried

to fill it with ice
cream and chips

but fool, my belly was full
and my heart was







.
©2008 *jonzoiplu
Details
Submitted: March 30
File Size: 344 bytes
Image Size: 102 KB
Resolution: 1255×2476
Comments: 20
Favourites & Collections: 18 [who?]

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Total: 283
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Author's Comments

the poem's more of an excuse for the doodle.
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Devious Comments

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~MagicalJoey:iconMagicalJoey: Mar 30, 2008, 12:12:41 PM
I like the way it seems like it should end with the word empty but the fact that it doesn't just adds to the poem (and the doodles :D )

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How much do you actually see, or are you just not bothered to look?
*jonzoiplu:iconjonzoiplu: Mar 30, 2008, 1:11:01 PM
thank you (:

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let's go play on a baggage carousel
~VanyelFirestorm:iconVanyelFirestorm: Mar 30, 2008, 1:43:08 PM
I generally get excited nowadays when I see a new work from you on my watch list, good stuff, though at this point id expect nothing less. :)

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"Your starving my Zebra" is the "Your breaking my balls" of the 21st century...
~Saiyukiii:iconSaiyukiii: Mar 30, 2008, 4:20:36 PM
I think the drawing is adorable. XD The poem fits nicely as well.

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[link] ヾ( ´ー`)
*jonzoiplu:iconjonzoiplu: Mar 30, 2008, 4:26:57 PM
heh, thank you sir (:

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let's go play on a baggage carousel
*jonzoiplu:iconjonzoiplu: Mar 30, 2008, 4:27:33 PM
the drawing > the poem (in my opinions)

merci :)

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let's go play on a baggage carousel
~Saiyukiii:iconSaiyukiii: Mar 30, 2008, 4:36:19 PM
I think the little guy is about the cutest thing ever. x)

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[link] ヾ( ´ー`)
~sun-devil:iconsun-devil: Mar 30, 2008, 9:10:19 PM
the doodles make the poem seem less serious... in a good way!! it's well balanced. i like the fact that instead of going in on the whole cliche of 'broken heart', you talk about the serious stomach-stuffing after a break-up. and you keep it short and sweet.

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11th: THOU SHALT DO THE DANCE.
~starsdie:iconstarsdie: Mar 31, 2008, 9:53:08 AM
well, they say the road to man's heart leads through his stomach... :giggle:
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